For a few months I've been thinking about password protecting my blog, but for simplicity reasons I continue to decide against that. I don't want a road block and that is what a password or log-in seems to be, especially for those who quickly look here and there. (I know that password log-ins work for others and I follow those password log-in blogs that have decided to share with me). Because I want to share our family experiences with others. Especially those we love. I want my family to feel close to us. See us in pictures as frequently as I can post. A post is so much quicker than email. And it reaches everyone, who cares. The people who I'd rather not look are few and far between. So when someone commented anonymously a few posts back that I am, "always hiding behind my kids." I either took it the wrong, or right, way. It became a day when I wished I'd had a road block out.
Seriously. I live in a fish bowl. Online and in my so called real life. One of my blinds broke and since I refuse to have 3 out of 4 blinds down, I choose to leave all 4 windows wide open. All the time. After Christmas I intend to purchase new blinds, but we can handle it for a month or two more, it's been three already. I do have three children to provide for.
The past six months have left me feeling that I've taken a blog, for and of my children, and turned it into a blog about a selfish- mom who likes to participate in costly races that include girls weekend getaways, get tattoos, and traipse all over the PNW. I can't afford to go much further, otherwise I would.
It is those things that have helped me find me. EverydayI learn more and more about just who I am. Inside and out. The lengths I can push myself, when and where. What I will and will not stand up for, or against. There's a reader board in town that reads right now, "It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you are really going to be." I love driving by that. I am learning this with each step I take. Forward.
Maybe that comment just hit me at a bad moment. Maybe it was taken wrong because I have no idea who put those words there. Or maybe it's true. Maybe I still tend to stand in the back of the picture because, well I'm not the size I wished I was. What did that comment even mean? Maybe I am just being a typical girl and reading far too much into something that really wasn't there. Probably not.
All venting complete. I feel better. Better than ever. In fact ready for a new day. A busy Tuesday. That starts with 5:15A boot camp, 6A spin (instructed by muah), work at 8A. But before work and after spin, getting the three M's ready for their day- breakfast, clothed and happy. Work from 8 to 5. And it happens to be my most favorite day of the week! One where I get to watch struggles and triumphs unfold right before my eyes. I love the triumphs. Live for the triumphs. I'll keep doing that. Regardless.
